Live and Love Freely
Challenges, stress, commitments, deadlines!! They are all around us… So how can we live and love more freely? Life really is a journey, there’s so much to discover and above all it’s a never ending discovery of the self.
So far in my journey I’ve noticed something beautiful from all this chaos… I write a journal everyday and the other day I flicked back to all of the “big” moments throughout my life and thought, “Wow”, “this is it”….it all got me to where I really need to be. To what I have in my life right now and to how I feel more free now than I’ve ever done before!
So I’m sharing my thoughts so far on how I believe you can live and love more freely.
Here are 5 rules that can help you to live and love freely ✌️
1. Worry Less!
Not always easy, I know! But ask yourself right now are these thoughts really useful to you? There’s a great saying “If the problem is fixable there is no need to worry and if the problem can’t be fixed there is no Benefit in worrying”… A good concept to remind yourself of when worrying takes you away from the present moment!
Pain and heartache are different and you should be free to allow yourself to be vulnerable, risk getting your heart broken…It’s worth it. Don’t hold anything in. All of the big lessons I’ve learned and the wisdom I’ve acquired so far have come from some extremely difficult times in my life. I didn’t know it at the time. It’s always hard to see any kind of purpose when your in the midst of heartache, pain or loss. But it’s there. Even when things get hard, there is a reason why we’re here.
I’ve moved through some struggles and some heartbreaking times but I realise now that there is a purpose to it all. Sometimes you just get what you need, not what you want.
It’s not until you go through that deep dark corner of pain and come out of the other side that you realise the beauty of life, the light that can be seen in everything! It sounds corny I know, but pain changes something inside of you and your never quite the same person again. So the worrying over more minor things become irrelevant, you become more laid back, non judgmental, light hearted and able to love more freely with non attachment…When you heal yourself appropriately you become open. Not bitter, not blocked not insecure. Just grateful for all the little things and able to see the lighter side to life…
Often the things we worry about the most will never actually happen anyway and all those things you do worry about; Well, I bet most of them will still be there in your head five years, maybe even ten years from now if you let them! So stop the worrying, stop wasting precious time and just enjoy the here and now! See what is right in front of you!
2. Take more Risks
Some risks are worth taking to get you ahead…Since I started actually listening to my body more and taking more risks I’ve achieved so much more in my life! Listening to that inner nudge, that guidance of intuition has helped me make choices that took guts, and now I can honestly say they were the best risks I ever took.
I wouldn’t have what I’ve got today if I didn’t listen to my intuition and if I didn’t take those risks! Sometimes It is hard to be brave and just take that risk! … A change of career, living location or relationship status!
But if you tune in to your intuition and it feels right let it pull you even closer to taking that risk, just let it guide you…it will be a risk worth taking! Intuition shouldn’t be ignored, it’s never wrong! It will keep niggling at you and the biggest risk you may face is the regret of not risking at all. So tune in! Listen to your instincts…Intuition is a sense not a feeling and often your feelings (emotions) can get in the way, pulling you back or you can be influenced by other people, memories, opinions or demands but try to move past your fears. Let go, and take more risks in life! They are here for you to learn.
Don’t be afraid to fail either…Failure is just an event, it’s only when you give up that you really fail. Taking risks means you have the inner strength to believe in yourself and pick ourself up if you need to, it can be hard work but the best things in life sometimes are never easy!
If you take the risk to follow your intuition I truly believe it sets you free and will lead you towards your true life path.
Who do you need to forgive? Well, no one suffers from holding on to past pain but you! Forgive everyone for everything. For your own sake. It doesn’t mean that what that person did wasn’t wrong, it just means YOU can separate yourself from their actions. When you forgive you open yourself to greater and higher forms of self love and you let down the guards around your heart so other people can love you!
4. Let go of toxic people or friends
Throughout our lives we meet lots of people… Lots of Friends! some crossing our paths just once, some flow in and out constantly but always with a kind heart and some come into our world to stay. I have lots of friends but as I’ve got older I can count on just one hand my true friends and those who I know will always be there. These people that we surround ourselves with affect how we feel, how we act, they can open our hearts and minds… Or people can suffocate, hurt or trap us.
We really do absorb the energy of others. The people we keep close influence us immensely, so it’s absolutely crucial to our wellbeing that we choose these people wisely!
Friendship do grow but sometimes they can grow apart too. As we live and experience life we constantly evolve, we naturally change and to keep growing we sometimes need to let people go as part of that change. But how do you know which people to hold on to, and which people to let go of ? And how do you actually let go of someone, especially if they’ve been in your life for a long time?
Well, you have to Identify with how the people in your life make you feel. You know you have someone valuable if they make you feel good, welcome you and understand you. It’s very simple. They give you energy, lift you up, inspire you to do the great things you dream about. They will do their best for you, they will heal for you, they will be happy for you when things are going great in your life, they will celebrate with you and equally they are there for you through your darkest times. Even if those darkest times dim your light that true friend will be patient until you find it again. Until you come back.
This person will be easy to spend time with and even though you’ll have your ups and downs (as with all things and all relationships) the general feeling of the relationship is effortless and sincere. If you have this, hold on to these people. Don’t take them for granted. Be grateful, because true connection is not the easiest thing to find. These kind of friends will always be there for you, even if you haven’t really seen one-another for a long time…because it’s the true friends that form the solid and lasting bond that can never be broken no matter what distance there may be or by what circumstance is going on in your individual lives, true friends always come back together.
As we grow life takes us all in different paths, as we mature and experience life, we naturally evolve and expand…which means that our friendships must also adapt. What you have experienced in life so far may be so totally different to that of your friend. But does this change your understanding of that friend? Do you feel like something has been lost? Or maybe you have just lost understanding of them simply because you cannot relate to what they have experienced? Would this eventually pull you away from that person?
It’s certainly admirable to have life-long friendships, but that’s not to say that because of this they are the best…because the truth is people do change, because life experience allows growth. True relationships except all the changes, all the growth and If we are open we can learn from each other. The friendship then has the potential to hit another level. A deeper understanding and special bond.
But, sometimes friends just don’t understand, sometimes friends just do grow apart and sometimes some relationships, some people are just toxic! Draining your energy! These people never seem to be able to move on from the growth, instead of lifting you up, they bring you down, they criticise, judge you or make you feel small. He or she might be very negative most of the time. And this isn’t about the friend that goes through a really rough chapter in life and needs some extra time, healing and attention, that has nothing to do with the friendship what so ever. Its about the overview of your entire friendship and how you handle all the changes, ups and downs, whilst trying not to make it all about you or not taking it too personally. It’s more about the friend who complains a lot, or gossips and can make mean remarks about others. This person is most likely very caught up in insecurity, ego or feeds off the drama of other people. If someone spends a lot of time talking to you about others, or probing you and what’s going on in your life what’s stopping them from talking the same way to others about you?
How do you feel after spending time with this person? This is the first indication that it might be time to let go – if a person makes you feel unworthy or anxious it’s not someone you want to hold on to for too long.
If you find yourself surrounded by this you need to take a moment and check in with yourself…your own heart! Why are you keeping this person in your life?
So, the first thing you need to change is treating yourself with respect. Make sure you take care of your soul in all ways, and that means knowing you deserve good people in your life. Know that no one can take away the real you…unless you allow them to. Something must be lacking in this relationship. First find out what…
Communication, understanding and honesty are the key in all relationships. Find out what has been missing; misunderstandings can be the main cause of relationship breakdowns. So start talking about them openly, we all perceive things differently and we all take in information in different ways. It may turn out that there is just misinterpretation about something or someone. Communicate and then you will know, be rational and trust your instincts. If you are still sure this person is just toxic then start giving yourself the love you need from within and start letting go.
Remember, what we feel we reflect outward – a person who makes others feel small does so because he or she feels small. It’s simple, and it’s a way of coping. If anything, they are the ones battling with something inside. However, being insecure and having issues with your self esteem is no excuse for treating others like crap, and you do not have to put up with people treating you that way either!
Like wise, a person who gossips does so because they have no real purpose and perhaps lots more time on their hands! Another favourite saying of mine…”Small minds discuss people and great minds discuss ideas”.
So try to let go without drama. You don’t have to invite negativity to release a toxic person from your life. There doesn’t have to be a fight, or mean comments, or an “I’m done with you” type of feeling. verbalise what your feeling is good in order to let go of the emotion but you don’t have to inflict pain in others to release or cause more damage! Keep to the main issues and look in before you look out! No one is perfect including you! And often behaviour breeds behaviour. If the issues can not be resolved, then let them out of your life subtly, with ease. Perhaps the only one holding on is you? Some relationships don’t need a big explosive ending, they have just served their purpose and what’s left can slip away. It’s hard not to feel upset but try not to blame or judge, or hurt, or point fingers…simply tell them for your own inner wellness.
I try to practice this saying “What other people think of me is none of my business” as it’s so true! Your business is you, nothing else. If other people don’t like who you are, or the choices you make? Who the hell cares! If they choose to judge and lack understanding that’s not your problem. You can’t make people see inside your own soul. Start to focus on surrounding yourself with loving people, the love you have will grow and extend to others too. Remind yourself that life is far too valuable to get caught up in negativity. Focus on the people that make you happy! By doing so you will attract more happy people into your life. The law of attraction is a powerful thing… Which is why it’s so important to surround yourself with like minded people.
Life often takes you where you need to be, with the people you need to be with. And when it’s time to let go don’t hold on. Clear out the old to make space for the new. The space that’s left with this person out of your life will soon be filled by a person who deserves your love. Don’t allow others to hold you back!
Last but not least…
5.Do what you love!
This is SO important! When we follow our passions and do what we love we live in the present moment, we truly live and enjoy life as it is right now!
I know this is easier said than done, we’ve all got bills to pay and I’ve seen and heard it all before “it’s just a job that pays the bills”… But that can come with feeling trapped or suffocated in the job or a way of life! I’ve seen people I’m close to feel so stressed about their job it’s made them ill…Stress is an illness! And stress is something that should never be underestimated, it is such a damaging emotion that effects everything! So many people end up in jobs or in life circumstances that they are unhappy with, so they fill their time living in the past or living in the future with their thoughts just so they can get away from anywhere but focus on the real moment! There’s that general feeling of mundane dread about the job or way of life, it’s not very satisfying and feels more of a forceful effort.
This is not living…It’s existing!
And if the job or way of life causes more stress than it’s worth is that really worth compromising your health for! Your relationships for?
What is stopping YOU from doing what you really love? Is it money? Time? Support? Often the best business’s are built around those people who are truly passionate about what they do. Because they believe in it, they want to share it, they make a difference.
When you follow your passions you soar, you don’t think about the money because you are just enjoying what you love to do. Hard work becomes easy when your work becomes your play. Never underestimate the value of loving what you do and soon enough everything else just comes. Your life will be rich in many ways. You can earn money doing what you love! You can change your way of life… Don’t allow money to hold you back from making the change. You will always find a way. You will always manage.
Being driven just by money alone is a dangerous thing, it’s all so ego led which is never a good option to start with and it will never be enough, you will never have enough!
It’s not how much money you make that ultimately makes you happy. It’s whether or not your work or way of life fulfills you.
The best feeling in the world is getting paid to do what you love.
The secret to success is to work hard and add real value to your life and to other people’s lives.
Focus on leading a passionate, meaningful life.
I hope you have the courage to follow your dreams and set your spirit free.
L O V E & L I G H T